Wednesday, June 4, 2008
I lost my best friend today and yes he was a dog.
It's a funny thing about dogs. They tend to be better friends than most people...at least that has been my experience in life. Dogs are not judgemental, critical or hurtful, and they never try to screw you around. I honestly don't know if I can say that about all the people I've known in life that said they were my friend. Dogs are always forgiving and the one thing they want to do along your side is simply to love you.
Probably the worst thing a dog can do is crap in the floor and that's probably our fault to begin with due to our busy schedule and not being in tune with the animals needs.
My trout scout Smokey died today from cancer, mutiple tumors in his lungs. It seemed to happen rather sudden beginning this past Friday. His doctor told me this past Monday that it was either a heart valve or a tumor. He suggested we treat the heart valve and remove the fluid from around Smokey's heart and lungs and therefore that is what took place. But, Smokey only grew worse struggling more and more the ensuing two days of Tuesday and today. I took Smokey back to the doctor and another x-ray revealed the tumors, that were more easily seen since the fluid had been removed from his lungs.
Being God-like is a job only for God but I couldn't wait for that divine wisdom, which none of us truly understand, so I let Smokey go.
My decision today was one of the hardest I've ever made.
I'm no stranger to the face of cancer. I lost Susie to cancer and Smokey was one of my last connections of Susie's and my life together. Smokey and I had a wonderful loving life with my Ann. I guess you could say that Smokey and I were very lucky to experience some wonderful loves in our lives but now I have lost him.
I could tell you that I don't know which, the loss of my friend, the fact he had cancer, or me making a God-like decision, is bringing the most tears to my eyes. But if told you I don't know which it is, I would be telling you a lie.
It's the loss of my friend. My very good friend.